that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
