i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
