just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
