"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
