did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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