Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
