Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
