I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
