I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
