Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
