it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
