I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
ok first of all what the fuck
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
