wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
