just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize