sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
