honey bunches of taint.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
