FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize