OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
