That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
