The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
