I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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