She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
