i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
