Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
