u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
