I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
