don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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