did you get engaged???
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
