i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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