UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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