like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
handjob tips. give me some.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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