Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
