If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
