This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
