Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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