Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
