Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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