brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my mouth tastes like poor choices
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Someone signed my nipple.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
