Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
