Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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