Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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