Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize