you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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