I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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