..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize