Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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