so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Vodka?
Forever.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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