And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize