he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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