dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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