Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
