Pappa wants mamma naked
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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