i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
