dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
