That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize