Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
the condom got lost in my hair
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
