i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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