one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
