Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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