We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
