dude i'm inner monologue high
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
