I heard we made out
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
