I think I died a long time ago.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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