i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
