i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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