she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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