i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If I had your ass I would rule the world
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
