Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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