bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
