It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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