Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
